Big Blue

from by Astro Cowboy

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more fun than it sounds, but less fun than it was.


I fell into way too big blues,
mental guardrails failed.
And just like cinema,
I'm waiting for happy endings.
You only cared about my needs.
And, that's not fair to you.
I only cared about my needs.
I swear to god that's not true.

Me at the party having a blast.
You look so anxious, I want to ask.
But you can't form those words to tell me what is wrong.

You only cared about my needs.
Wringing you out like a towel.
Oh, whats the matter poor Audrey?
Is this not fun for you?

You're still so worried and I don't know why.
I wish all my answers could make you alright.
But I never had answers, I just had questions.

And I don't know why I did all those things to ruin this.
Me and you would always have been if always could ever be.

Its sad but it's so true.

And opposites attract, but they don't know how to stick together.
You wanna talk about how you like rainy weather?
Well I'm the one that has to bike in that shit just to see you.
And, I throw fits when I don't mean to.
I get upset and I blame myself cuz it's always gonna be my fault.
And I feel pressurized like a soda shaken up by an eight year old
trying to prank his sister, but he missed her.
It was an earnest attempt, but I exploded all on the walls.
Fell so short when I stood so tall; my mental state doesn't make much sense at all.
Made this mess, made myself, am the mess, need some help.
I said, "Hey man, I said no way. I don't want your help, I'll be ok."
I'm just so confused, but I'll sort things out.
A determined boy devoid of doubt.
Feel so bad and so upset.
Frustrated, full of regret.
But, we'll be just fine as long as I try.
Just give me lots and lots and lots of time.


from Hedonism Colosseum, released July 13, 2014



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Astro Cowboy Wilmington, North Carolina

'literature rock'




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